Simple Lessons to Make Love Last Psychotherapists Linda and Charlie Bloom, married for over thirty years, have faced these questions countless times in seminars and in their own relationships. Drawing on their personal and professional experiences, they present in this book simple lessons to make love last. 101 Things They Didn't Tell Me Before We Were Married is a combination of stories from their own marriage and the relationships of patients, friends, and students. They offer tips on common everyday situations that can be consulted at any time and that help understand and overcome the obstacles in a couple's life. A lasting relationship requires effort from both partners. Each of the short—but profound—101 chapters is a guideline on the principles that allow relationships to progress, teaching how to face all the desires and needs, as well as the fears and pains that marriage awakens. "We've learned to use our experiences, our mistakes, and discoveries as ways to help couples avoid or at least navigate some of the pitfalls, crises, impasses, and other difficulties that invariably arise during the course of a marriage," says Charlie. "We've survived enough crises and provocations to be able to speak with some authority about the possibilities and pitfalls of marriage," says Linda. 101 THINGS THEY DIDN'T TELL ME BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED offers familiar lessons, such as: "The fire of passion needs to cool so that mature love can develop"; "Don't neglect your friends just because you're married"; "Love isn't always enough to make a marriage last"; "Give what you want to receive." But there are also provocative and inspiring lessons: "If you think couples therapy is expensive, try divorce"; "Nothing cools sexual desire faster than unresolved differences." And also: "Intention alone may not be enough, but it's the most important thing"; "If you can't be happy without your partner, you won't be happy together"; "Secrets are lies." All the issues addressed help us understand the ups and downs of life as a couple. Even the best marriages don't come with a "guarantee." But it's true that a great relationship can be jeopardized if the couple thinks there's no danger and switches on autopilot. Charlie and Linda Bloom wrote this book for anyone who is, has been, or will be in a committed partnership and who has felt, at some point, that marriage can be much more than a cohabitation arrangement. "We discovered: what drove us crazy about each other and what drove us crazy for each other were the same things." ― Linda and Charlie Bloom.
